not yet?

running out of breath yet?
running out of steam?
falling over dead yet?
you're ripping at the seams.

looking up at me yet?
staring at the sky?
lying on the ground yet?
you thought i would be shy.

no one's saved you yet?
crawling down to you?
no one's helped you yet?
there's nothing you can do.

melt

staring up at the perfect image
my face still in awe and in wonder.
wishing to touch the figure of perfection
to climb up through the glass I'm under.
standing still in complete amazement
melting on the window above me
the beautiful image smooth and white
running from inside blood i can see.
breaking above me, death dripping down
black, screaming silence, covering
laying down, now sleeping
no other life still near hovering.

to my best friends

friends may be a world apart
in distance or in mind
but through it all i love you still
the best kind i can find.

the i told you so's the laughs in the face
they hurt but you were right
next time i might listen
i'll put up less of a fight.

i miss the school year past
only for one reason
i miss you jessie darling
this is so your season.

ali dear you're still close by
i want to thank you much
you smile and lift me up
my life you're able to touch.

you both are great i love you so
i doubt you'll understand
that the friendship between us
must always stand.

hopefully sometime soon
we'll all be back together
best friends till the end
going on forever.

guardian angel

when i dream i soar
in my flight high above
the world which contains
the one that i love.

i watch while he sleeps
such peace in my sight
to see him so calm
in a room with no light.

a guardian angel
can be my name
but just like a lover
i love you the same.

steering your pathway
to avoid every pain
knowing you cant see me
it drives me insane.

forever in silence
i still will love you
and you'll never know it
when i want you to.

you will never meet me
though i'll always be here
someday someone "perfect"
for you will appear.

if only you could see me
you would spare a deepest pain
to only know i love you
to see me help you gain.

i wing my fight of love
over you i fly
to protect and keep you
until the day you die.

confusion

i love him, i love you
confused to what my heart will do
choosing him or choosing you
he wants me, you want me too
follow my heart, follow my dream
wrongs seems right as wrong can seem
tempting ,shiny, glisten ,gleam
slowly undoing every seam
i love you, i love him
hope you're more than just a gem
almost giving up on him
loving you ,yet loving him
wonder why ,i hide it all
waiting tensely for the fall
slowly breaking down a wall
growing slowly till I'm tall
wonder why but you're still there
hope out loud but i'm still here
dream of us, wonder where
hold my hand ,life to share
looking up ,then glancing down
see your face, start to drown
have a smile, try a frown
put on make up, be a clown
it's a choice, i must choose
you, afraid, i may lose
but if him i somehow lost
i'm sure that i would pay a cost
forever second place you'll be
unless he turns and runs from me
i love you ,do you love me?
a question answered i will see.

Abandoned

A face i see
not sure who it is
yet happier i seem
with my hand in his

i see a smile
on the unknown face
as we walk hand in hand
our feet keeping pace

he left me here
alone and afraid
not really caring 'bout
what he have made

i'm standing still
the world just moves on
they look through my shadow
to them i am gone

most i don't know
those faces i see
i'm standing so still
they walk strait through me

The Place I Used to Live

In the side door and dash up the stairs
run around the corner into my room
i didn't drag my feet on the old wooden floor
because of splinters in my feet from before
the tiny room next to my own
was a bathroom that didn't work to well
a hornet made it into a room
i screamed and ran from my brothers' room
our den downstairs was full of fun
it was our huge toy room
the kitchen and the dining room combined
i never really called it the kitchen there
the scariest room in the entire house
was the one at the end of the hall.

Life's Piano

i rested my fingers on the ivory white keys
pressing softly one note at a time
it made me feel lonely like the single note
so i added a chord now three notes at a time
at first my fingers moved slowly
they felt like they were stiff and wrong
when i played a mistake i corrected my fingers
mentally telling them to get it right the next song
my fingers started moving faster almost on their own
they went down the keys like a waterfall
and then up the keys like a bird in flight
things like learning can be simple for some
but most don't sit down at life's piano (one might)
and play songs automatically without one thought
they play it, beginning with one note at a time.

Engagement ( a dream i had about john)

my head's on your shoulder
my hands, in your own
we've been getting closer
by you i have been shown

our feet that move in patterns
are drifting 'cross the floor
slowly towards the balcony
soon we're past the door.

we stand out in the moon light
our dance comes to a halt
you lead me to a grey, stone bench
this night has no fault.

you sit me down release one hand
which produces from your pocket
a heart shaped box , the color black
with a key to unlock it.

going down onto one knee
you look into my eyes
and ask me that question
for which every girl dies:

"will you marry me?"
"yes, yes i will

Beauty

beauty is describable
no words can dare explain
but i'll tell you now that you are
you drive me so insane.

your eyes the deepest brown
so beautiful, so true
please don't misunderstand me
beauty to me is you.

you may not think of self
when i say that word out loud
but i do think of people
you could enchant a crowd.

if people would open their eyes
they would see what i see now
they'd see you in your beauty
and now you ask me "how?"


it's not so hard to see it
once you look around
beauty's in all people
in you it does abound.

Stay Away...and...Fake It

walking with purpose
at least so they think
you don't know where you're going
life's your only link
people stare at your life and just don't know
that being part of you
only causes woe.

get away from me

why can't you see?
there's nothing right
all we do is fight
why don't you stay away-
from me?

Mistake

like teardrops the rain fell
when i made that mistake
of my mistake no one tell
no more of this i'll take

the sky is blue
besides for one spot
the circle is true
just one bright dot.

the rainbow comes
the rainbow goes
come i say
with a dripping nose.

Hate

hate is walking into the same place and not speaking a word
hate will look in the opposite direction because a look at them would be a glare
hate is as strong as an ocean wave in the middle of a raging storm
hate is blind to knowing what they should get and what is fair.

hate was there when they said "crucify ! crucify him!" to Jesus
hate will stray from a room if the other is there being good and kind to it
hate will sit still and silent when everyone else is cheering them on
hate will cheat and lie any chance that you would dare give.

hate is sometimes found hiding it's self in a dark corner
hate sometimes is as loud as a bullet being shot at one's head
hate will only change it's mind hardly often at all
hate will discourage all who will let it inside.

Luf (jon#2)soon after jon#1

okay you're right
it's probably not love
but 'like' is to small
i'd rather stay with luf.

it's closer to like
but oh so much more
and so far from love
as shore is from shore.

i said that i thought
i said maybe too
i don't want to confuse you
whatever i do

i am just a freshman
i am just 15
i've not experienced love
whatever it seem

i wanted to say that
make clear in you mind
that i thought about love
but luf's all i find

Jon Alsip(feb. 2008)

even when you're tired
you try and make me smile
there's no way that i'm sad
around you i have no denial.

you listen to my secrets
you keep then safe inside
then comfort me with saying
that on you i can depend.

no way that i would leave you
the way you look at me
i think i maybe love you
but they say it cannot be.

you're just like a good best friend
you're more than just a boy
you treat me like a human
and there you get my joy.

you call yourself a man
but forever on inside
c'mon you're just a sophomore
let's lay that name aside.

i know we've stayed with luf
and i know that's what belongs
'cause when you're just in high school
love does only wrongs.

i don't know what time i've left
but this just let me say
every time i leave you
all i want is stay.

O.U.T

once upon a time
there was a girl there was a guy
wishing to be together
without having to lie.

as easy as it seems
to a normal human being
her heart was being held
by another than he

he slightly gave up
and took to himself another
whom he dare not love
because of slight chance.

her heart was let go
free now she stood waiting
he caught her right in time
living happily ever after.

Kiss Me Again

a swelling sensation
so deep from within
you've kissed me three times
now kiss me again.

Vampiress

her eyes were as dark as midnight black
her skin was as pale as the moon
she could run faster than any animal
she will reappear near here soon.

her fangs have been sunk to soft flesh
but now she's in love with a mortal
the smell of his blood is so tempting
but the power of love will stand tall.

a vampiress that's in love
she will ne'er see this chance again
she must seize this chance while she still can
taking him to all where she had been.

Death Angel

on the lips of an angel
a smile slowly shows
the angel of death
sadness where ever he goes.

he doesn't scare me
he leaves me alone
and when he comes near me
that smile is shown

i know it sounds weird
being loved by immortal
but i swear it's true
through every portal

i know I'm so small
a mere little child
but when he's around
i feel grown and wild.

i feel immature
even in his presence
where darkness abides
and dead mighty pheasants.

i'm not making sense
how loud this may sound
i love an immortal
and nothing but he.

Imagination Rules

people can always
blow you away
with their imaginations
and whatever they say.

good imaginations
both the big and the small
their ideas can conquer
and will conquer over all.

the way to write stories
or any entertainment
is with imagination
with out any detainment .

Baseball

Stepping up to the plate,
your gloved hands grip the bat
your helmet blocks the sun
nothing's important except where the ball is at.

the pitcher throws it hard
you swing so sure you'll hit
but past your bat it sails
into the catcher's mitt.

here comes the second pitch
perfect, no way to miss
but pas to you once again,
your team's hope isn't this.

two strikes down and now
here comes the final pitch
*smack!* the ball is gone!
right into yonder ditch!

Do You Know What it Means?

do you know what it means to me,
when i know that you are safely sleeping?
do you know what it means to me,
when i know you're still there for my keeping?
do you know what it mans top me
when you have no reason to be weeping?
do you know what it means to me
when you are near, and my heart is leaping?

it means the whole wide universe,
that, baby, is what it means to me.

Still

and still i sit here and wish
that you could be happy as i seem
and still i feel like crying
just jumping off that balancing beam.

and still i act so happy
until you are gone, then sad as sad can be,
and still i want to be glad
then comes to mind the thought of you and me.

To Hand It to You

let me hand it to you simple and plain
i will not be used for your own selfish gain
you make me unhappy you cause me such pain
how can i not cry since you're made so much rain.

turn around and walk away, just go
what i write here you may never even know
you pass me in the hallways my face loses glow
then my tears are flooding, down my face they flow.

4-22-08(broken)

tears covering any beauty that could be seen before
she was hurt and was tired enough to let it go
she couldn't hold on any longer, it was so hard
but the way he let it to her he just didn't know.

he did not see just how much she had been crying
she has not talked to him in two full days now
she can smile anytime to show she is alright
but still inside she will be broken, will be healing somehow.

Flag and War

it's waving in the wind
high fly the colors of our day
red is for the blood rivers flowing
and wars that turn our skies to grwy.

blue is there to represent
the color of the skies right now
the white is standing for freedom
that we'll forever know.

Fear

eyes looking around her now
scared her half to death
this seven year old little girl
the one trying to catch her breath.

not knowing where she's going
sh just does not care
the thing that is behind her
she will not let it catch her here.

sun goes down she's running still
she will not give up
running for her small,frail life
almost like a small running pup.

Silence(or not)

silence can be golden
whispers can be great
wind that isn't howling
can uncover fate.

watching without speaking
soaking up the sight
easier than helping
get some sleep tonight.

it's easy to ignore
any thing you don't want
it's harder to help someone
when they're on the hunt.

"I'll help some one with need
as long as they help me"
that's not the right way
now way, you see.

Imagining

as wild as a bronco ride
so crazy is my mind
my imagination twists and turns
without me to decide.

it brings me down dark alleys
where i expect to find
nothing in particular
until it changes kind.

it's changed from dark to light now
out in and open field
i see you standing across the way
--i wake with a start-- killed.

When You're Gone

something's always been missing
but i just never knew
that that something missing
has always been you.

now when you're not with me
i know exactly why
i feel like i am dying
because i miss my guy.

gone is such a simple word
yet it sadly sings
that something big is missing
at those times i want some wings.

Blank Pages

you turn pages slowly
still missing all words
you think about filling them
writing 'bout geeks and nerds.

in most people's eyes
blank pages are overwhelming
but to an author or poet
their words start unveiling.

you could write out your feelings
no matter how deep
and yes only then
can you let your words seep.

Smiles

you can decorate the wall of people
by sprinkling smiles all around
the way you're putting smiles up
there's no more on the ground.

all they see from you is smiles
but all they are are pictures
they fade with time no matter what
they soon will know your features.

A Poem About Poems

some people ask why i write poetry
the answer's not to say so easy
but as long and as complicated
as the poems I've created.

they're like my life, kinda hard to explain
but still there, it's driving me insane
as long as i keep it this way
there's no reason for me to stay.

Peer Pressure

he walks slowly across the grassy plain
he gathers up the confidence to stand up and say
that what they are doing can never be right
he starts to head back as the sky turns to grey
the light he is holding is dimmer than bright
the darkness is growing when the sun lay.

the sadness was growing for all their sin
all it had caused them was grief and bitterness
he was a witness to what it was doing
their cold hard response wasn't any less
they want him to say it's okay to be wronging
but what he says back it, "to God confess."

Deep Breath...Go!

first kiss
dont miss
such bliss
happiness

fist swim
not grim
every limb
knowing them

first dive
rush thrive
water drive
so alive

first race
keep pace
wind in face
get fist place.

fist date
not late
must be fate
feels so great.

Fairy Tales

queens and princesses
princes and kings
don't have to be beautiful
and fairy tales sing.

a maid can be gorgeous
and alive with charm
she can be in love
with the prince no harm.

a servant so handsome
and yet so in love
can be with a princess
the one we speak of.

a prince can be ugly
a princess be plain
but in fairy tale times
there's nothing but gain.

Valentines Day

no one can tel you that valentines day
is a mere joke of a holiday
you can use what you say
valentine, it helps in some way
the colors are happy not black or grey
sometimes valentine's seems far away
and once it's here it's not gonna stay.

but valentine, oh dearest to me,
this day i know you're going to see
together we can ever be
the lock to my heart, you hold the key
form the dungeon you can set me free
i'll say once out loud three words to thee,
Happy Valentines Day! with joyfulness and glee.

Your Web (Brian Adam North)

i melt under the spell
the web that you've wound
i know i don't need you
how good it may sound.

you used me and ran
i stayed by your side
i thought you were innocent
I'll never confide.

you buried me deep
way deep in the ground
you kissed me and held me
in that web that you've wound.

Me...a Princess?

if i had one wish
i know what it would be
I'd be a princess in a castle
with fine gifts being given to me.

i know I'm not a princess
i know I'm not a dream
i know I'm not as dazzling
as other girls may seem.

if i were the queen of England
if i ruled the sea
if i were a princess
would you come strait to me?

Love, Life, Like and Simple Pleasures

we sit here, oh , so silently
your hand is holding mine
the space there is between us
is little over a line.

i tell you not to let me go
my head is on your shoulder
i slightly drift into a dream
and think of us as older.

i dream of your lips pressed on mine
your arms are wrapped around me
i like out lives just like this
and forever want them to be.

Grave Stone

I look at the stone,
It bore my name,
My very own grave,
It's not just a game.

It

I see it, i hear it
it hurts to get near it
no reason to fear it
and to way to tear it.

no reason i hate it
and always belate it
and want to derate it
where ever ill fate it.

Running

Running away
with something to say
you hate me today
i'm running away.

you hate me tomorrow
your hatred they borrow
causing small sorrow
running tomorrow.

i'll run for forever
pulling that lever
your hate leaves you never
running forever.

i have one, together,
we'll run turning never
running we'll ever,
running together.

Best Friends

who's always there
right when they're needed
who's advice
should always be heeded?

who can we fight
and never be hated
entangled in life
together are fated?

our best friends forever
that is their name
together and always
forever the same.

Together : Alone

the rain falls down
i do not care
'bout my dripping heart
and cold, wet hair.

i see you sitting
across the way
no doubt in my mind
i know what to say.

i come and sit near you
you're soaked to the bone
together we sit
together : alone.

My Sister

i really love my sister
i wish that she would see
that to be exactly like her
would only injure me.

there's a reason that i don't
listen to every word
because when she says it to me
it just sounds so absurd.

i wonder if she know that
she was my own best friend
and i want her understanding
that it will never end.

I'm Invisible (Dead)

I don't care
not anymore
there's no reason
to cleanse this sore.

you don't care
that i am dead
or do you even know
what i have said

there's a life
a life that you live
now that i'm gone
i've no more to give.

i said it once
you would not believe
that i'd be gone
or that i'd leave.

you see my tears
just walk away
there's nothing to do
and nothing to say.

you stare through me
as if i'm not there
but asi know
you do not care.

i'm just another
one of the few
i disappeared
in front of you.

you do not care
that i am gone
you don't care
it's been so long

you never knew
i loved you so
now that i'm gone
it's time to let go.

this wound in my heart
you left it so deep
it's not gonna heal
not for me to keep.

why am i saying this
so long and slow
why do i care
i dont know.

i was in love
you broke my heart
just read this over
back to the start.

I don't care
not anymore...

Because I Love You

I love you so
and can't let you go
I'll let my love show
just watch it grow.

it's fast moving pace
with your beautiful face
filled with your grace
in this wonderful place.

it's funny to think
that i'm on the brink
of losing my link
and i'm starting to sink.

but you can lift me
my face you can see
and never let me be
without you near me.

The Smiling Angelic Devil

a smiling angelic devil
that's what i am
i'm angelic and smiling
but devil besides a gram.

there's no way to tell
whether angel or not
besides those cruel laughs
that come at each lot.

i hear howling winds
they are music to my ears
but to anyone else
they mean sadness and tears.

my anger is small
but my wrath is do long
why must i do this
and sing this death song?

Silent Words

i oft' write about silence,
and i oft' write 'bout death
but if i don't write it
i feel out of breath.

there's no room for your smile
but your eyes let me see
because I'll love you forever
wherever you'll be.

my voice is so small
my volume so meek
but my words draw a portrait
when i don't even speak.

a portrait of love
and a portrait of time
my words don't sit still
they don't stop their climb.

Sleep On

Watching silently
seeing you sleep
it's like silent goodness
your dreams are so deep

why dont i wake you
you ask a while later
and my answer is simple
there's something that's greater.

"watching you sleep"
i whispered to you
" i like dreaming so sweet,
when there's nothing to do."

Tears

tears are so precious
yours are so many
I'd rather it be
you didn't have any.

my tears are the same
but for another reason
i cry for your tears
which you cry every season.

when once again
your tears start to flow
i stand by your side
and don't let you go.

don't cry anymore
I'm here by your side
from all of your fears
I'll help you to hide.

Hey...i love you...okay?

loving you is what i see
forbidden though it always be
i wish that you could love small me
and i want you not to pay a fee
yes, i'm saying i love you
and since i said my love just grew
i'm sinking slowly in the dew
and now i love you all anew.

LOVE

love to me is nothing new
love is old as time
but as i meet new people
all it does is climb

it gets bigger and bigger
till I'm out of room
and then it keeps on growing
or at least i assume.

my heart is overwhelming
with all the love it seems
so I'll love no other human
no matter how they gleam.

My Unknown Neighbor

he's sitting there
staring into space
as though he's looking
at another time and place.

if he really saw this
I'm unsure of what he'd do
but this place is just not beautiful
except for he and you.

he's never spoken a word to me
not a thank you not a please
but from dawn to dusk he's sitting there
his chin set on his knees.

i don't know his name
his age unknown too
he only smiles silently and--
well, what should i do?

Short Little Diddys

rain
thunder crashes above our heads
lightning strikes the ground
now we're safely tucked in bed
we listen to the sound.

pitter-patter
pitter patter on the roof
the pitter patter song
the pitter patter makes a tune
and we all sing a long.

the tree
the tree in the forest
it swishes and sways
it's beauty's majestic
in so many ways.

When You Were Young

younger than now
that's what I'll say
whatever it may
don't ask me how.

young yet in love
twenty or so
where did that love go
no one knew of?

crazy it seems
how old we are now
i don't know how
there's so many themes.

Manicure

You walk up to the store
you open up that door
you're hit with great aroma
almost knocks you in a coma.

the lady says one minute
you help yourself on in it
the colors there are many
she says to choose from any.

you pick the color green
a green you've never seen
it goes right with your dress
without it'd be a mess.

as you walk outside that door
you look again once more
your nails are solid green
plus a sparkly scene.